The Day that Love Won: A Response to the Supreme Court’s Ruling

We were on vacation. That is what I will tell my children when they ask where we were the day that the Supreme Court made a ruling that would allow same-sex marriage nationwide.

I had signed off of social media for the week… I had lost track of my days and dates… and our biggest concern wasn’t anything on TV… but whether we were going to hang around the resort or go into town for the day.

And so when I picked up my phone – I was surprised by the news.

I began scrolling through status updates, articles and posts…. all responding – all passionate – but all so divided.

I found myself surprised by some who were openly showing their support. I found myself surprised by others who were openly furious. I found myself saying the words, “They are on that side?! I had no idea that they felt that way.”

But right then I realized that lines are being drawn in the sand that will be almost impossible to ever cross again.

And my heart broke.

Because on both sides of this…. are people.

Not just ideas and morals. Not just thoughts and opinions.

People – with beating hearts.

And while I have my own opinions of the Supreme Court’s ruling, you won’t find my support or my rejection voiced here. My reason is simple. It is not because I am ashamed of how I feel, nor because I am afraid. It is not because I lack conviction… because I have my own strong opinions of the ruling.

It is because I recognize that my personal convictions voiced loudly have the ability to silence conversations that I might have with people that I know. It is because I believe that one on one conversations are where hearts can be heard and where convictions can meet compassion.

I am reminded of the time that Jesus encountered a man named Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus had climbed a tree to get a better view of Jesus, because the crowds had made it difficult for him to see. Do you know what Jesus did when He came to that tree? He called Zacchaeus down, and invited him to dinner.

He didn’t tell the crowd what He thought about Zacchaeus. He didn’t make an example of him or his lifestyle. We don’t even know what was discussed around the food that day.

All we know is that Jesus went to Zach’s house, had dinner, and Zacchaeus’ life was changed forever.

Friend? I’m NOT saying that we need to be silent.  I am saying that we need to be ready to have hard conversations. We need to hold firm to our personal convictions, but we need to be ready to show compassion. We need to be prepared to meet face to face with whoever comes our way.

Because the Supreme Court’s ruling doesn’t change hearts, but our response to it can.

As Christians, we believe that Love won when Jesus defeated sin and death making a way for us to have a relationship with God again. Love won when Jesus once and for all broke off the lies that we would never measure up, that we would never find our way back to Him, that said we would never have hope, or health, or life.

Jesus won when He redeemed a broken humanity back into His perfect Love.

… and no ruling or power or authority can ever unseat Him from His throne of victory as He reigns forever over all things.

But we might not ever get to share this Truth with the people that we love the most… because we silence the conversation before we ever get the opportunity to have it.

My prayer is that now more than ever Christians will know why we believe what we believe, and that we will be prepared to speak with Love in every situation…

Because that is truly the only way we can show that #lovealreadywon (for all of us.)

 


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To My Husband: Now That You Are Daddy

 

When we were dating, I liked to imagine what you would be like as a daddy someday. You would do something funny, and I would think, “Awww. See. He’s going to be such a fun dad.” Or you would do something purposefully kind, and I would say to myself, “Yes! He’s going to be the sweetest daddy!”

I would have these daydreams where I would picture little versions of us… maybe a boy with your smile and a girl with my eyes… all living a happy little life together with us as the mommy and daddy.

I was excited about the future. I was excited about starting a family, but we really had no idea what to expect. Did we?

I’m not sure that anyone really knows what to expect before they are handed a baby with the only instruction being, “Good luck.”

There’s so much that no one told us – like how hard it would be.

Many days, I am overwhelmed by it all.

You always try to be so strong, but maybe this whole being a parent thing is as hard for you as it is for me?

You could tell me, you know. I would understand.

I know we don’t get to talk as much as we used to. Gosh. We don’t even see each other as much as we used to. This is a crazy season of life, but honestly there’s no one else I want to go through it with other than you.

You’re doing a great job.

I don’t tell you that enough.

I know that I give you a harder time than I should. You are smart. You are so capable of taking care of our children, and I really need to let you just do it your way sometimes.

Yes. I said that. Out loud. On the internet.

I should let you just be a daddy and stop trying to make you more… well, more like me.

I know that I can trust you and your judgement. So, I’m going to work on remembering this when you are doing all of those things that make me hold my breath or jump in and say, “I’ll just do it.”

I know it drives you crazy when I act like that. I’ll do better.

The thing is… they don’t make parenting manuals. I mean, the hospital sent us home with a ton of reading material, but I’m pretty sure none of it said, “How to be a good wife now that your husband is a daddy.”

But let’s be honest. That would have been super helpful, and I’m sure it would have included, “Don’t make your husband feel like everything he is doing is wrong.”

Because it’s not.

You’re a great daddy.

It’s true that we had no idea what to expect when we became parents, but every day I realize that it is so much more than we ever could have imagined.

See, the truth is? I loved you when you were my husband, but seeing you become a dad to our kids has caused me to love you in ways that I didn’t even understand before.

I am so grateful for the gift of you, and I am so grateful that you are the one that our kids call, “Daddy.”

Thanks for all that you do for us and for how well you love us.

Here’s to the beginning of a happy Father’s Day.

 

 

 


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Why I Let My Son Draw in the Dirt at His T-Ball Game

 

This is my son. He is five years old. He loves Legos, pretending to be any form of super hero, and whatever “screen time” I will allow him. He sleeps with a special blanket. He would eat his weight in sweets if I were to let him, and he loves Jesus like a friend.

This is my son’s first year to play t-ball.

And that means? At the beginning of the season, he had absolutely no idea what was happening. He stood where he was told. He threw the ball where he was told. He ran where he was told.

Beyond that? He enjoyed drawing in the dirt and the snacks after the game.

During practice, I didn’t worry too much about his lack of understanding. But during practice, (like some of the other parents,) I would shout little encouraging comments from the sidelines.

“You’re doing great, baby!”

“Stop talking to your friends and listen to your coach, honey!”

“Drop the bat before you start running, sweetheart!”

The good news is… most of the other players (who had never played t-ball before) had absolutely no clue what was happening out there either.

This was no fault of the coaches, or the parents, or even the players… this was on account of the fact that they are 5 years old, and baseball has more rules to remember than inches that these kids have grown.

I remembered this when it was time for the first official game.

“Now the most important thing is to just have fun and to try your best!”

But five minutes into the game, I didn’t see the makings of an all-star. As a matter of fact, I looked up, and my son was the only one on the field bent down … drawing in the dirt again.

“Baby! Stand up! This isn’t the time for that! You’re not here to draw. You’re here to play, sweetheart!”

I wasn’t angry. I didn’t sound mad. I sounded encouraging… I sounded like I loved him. At least, I thought that is what love would say.`

But just a few minutes later, as the second hitter was rounding first, there my son was again, finger in the dirt – doodling.

And I wanted to holler out to him again. I wanted to tell him to stand up. To pay attention. To do what he was there to do…

But it was then that I heard the Lord say to me, “I drew in the dirt once too.”

And it was as if, I could picture Jesus out in the middle of the field bent down low next to my son tracing out the lines for my son to follow – side by side – teaching me about grace.

My heart grew, and my eyes teared, and I caught myself in that moment. I whispered a quiet, “Oh. I see, Lord.”

Because He was reminding me of the time when a woman was caught breaking the law, and leaders brought her to Jesus. They asked Him what He said should be done to her while they held rocks in their hands prepared to stone her.

And instead of answering with wrath, Jesus stopped, stooped and started to draw in the dirt.

As the woman’s accusers began to leave, He looked her in the eyes. He told her to go and sin no more. He showed her mercy, and you know?

That one encounter with love changed her life forever.

Not the threat of the stones. Not the shouts from the crowd. Not the exposure of the act.

Her encounter with mercy made a way for a lifetime of healing.

He’s just five years old out there. He’s just a little boy with thousands and thousands of days left in his story… but as He bent low? As He drew in the dirt?

He reminded me that it is not just the attitude that I should have about t-ball.

It is about deciding to parent in a way similar to how Jesus loves me. It is about choosing to remember that in order to make my son great, I must not make him feel small.

So, I didn’t shout. I didn’t tell him to stand up. I didn’t embarrass or make-fun of him or yell.

I just watched as Jesus and my little boy traced out the lines of mercy for me to follow. And I remembered that in order to raise greatness, I must be take on the position of grace.

 

 


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