Dear Negative Parenting Articles, My Kids are Awesome

Dear negative parenting articles,

My kids are awesome. Please stop trying to convince me that they are anything else.

The other day we were playing in the small inflatable pool in our backyard when my son noticed a tiny green grasshopper. He got out of the pool, scooped up his new friend and declared that we would all call him “Jumpy.”

For the next few days, every time we went outside, my kids would shout, “Jumpy is back!” It’s funny how Jumpy looked a little differently each day that he came to visit. (Hint: He wasn’t the same grasshopper.)

But seriously, my kids are at fun ages – 3 and 4. They are silly and funny and so curious about the world. I love watching them grow and learn. I love making memories with them. I love the joy that they have brought to our home.

Yes, life changed when they were born. No, my body will never look the same, and now I must make even more efforts to maintain a healthy marriage. But my children are not an inconvenience. And honestly, I’m tired of reading all of the posts that try to convince me that they are.

There seem to be a lot of those posts.

Posts by parents complaining about how terrible life is after having children. Posts that leave me feeling worse about my life, my kids, and myself as a mother. Posts that paint parenthood and childhood as things to be escaped or simply survived.

Sure the articles are usually witty and some are pretty funny. And many of us can even relate to them or have shared them in the past.

But honestly?

Parents don’t need one more post telling us that we’re doing it all wrong, or reminding us of how exhausted we are. We don’t need one more article complaining about how hard parenting is or trying to convince us that our kids have ruined our lives.

What we need? Is hope.

Parents need someone to breathe life into the scared places of our hearts. We need someone to remind us that our fears, worries and anxieties are perfectly normal.

We need someone to remind us that our best is good enough and that tomorrow is a new day.

We need someone to remind us that we are not alone in this parenting thing, and while there are days, weeks, entire years that seem overwhelming, they will not last forever.

So, I will be the one to say it.

We are done listening to all the negativity.

***

So to every parent reading, you’re doing a great job! This parenting thing is no joke, but you’re going to make it. We all knew the moment that we brought our babies home from the hospital that that there would be some days harder than others, but those sweet babies are life’s greatest gifts. And they are worth every single moment of uncertainty. Look around. This page is filled with hope. It is dedicated to encouraging the hearts of women and parents. It is a safe place to remember that being a parent is one of life’s greatest blessings.

My kids are awesome, and yours are too. And I hope you won’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

 

I try and stay in touch with my readers on a personal level through social media. Share this post to pass it on, and then click here to find me on Facebook.

What You Probably Need to Hear the Most Right Now

My mom answered the phone. “Hey! What are you up to?” I asked casually even though I knew that she was sitting at her desk at work – just like she was every Tuesday at 2:15.

I think she answered me, but I wasn’t really listening. Honestly, she could have told me that she was meeting the President for afternoon tea and I likely would have still continued as I did.

“Yeah? Oh. That sounds important. I’m sure that will go well…. Hey, wanna hear a funny story?”

I ended the pleasantries abruptly and began to share the reason for my call. I didn’t want to sound panicked – even though I was. So, I continued as though I had just seen the funniest thing.

“Well, Little Man and I were sitting on the floor and he was reaching for a toy and he was doing such a good job sitting up that I just had my hand behind him a little to give him extra balance and well, he leaned too far to the side and he tipped over and I couldn’t grab him fast enough and he bumped his head on a wooden toy and then he just sort of stared at me.”

Long Pause

I continued with a little more anxiety in my voice. “He didn’t cry and he’s not sleepy or lethargic and he didn’t throw up or anything, so I’m about 99.9% sure he doesn’t have a concussion, but… what do you think?”

My mom replied quickly. She knew what I had called to hear…

“I think he’s going to be just fine, Becky. I think you’re going to be okay too.”

This wasn’t the first phone call like this. It wouldn’t be the last either. Over the last 4 years I have made countless phone calls to my mom, the pediatrician (at 3 in the morning), and poison control (turns out that two large dabs of toothpaste are not cause for concern.)

Filled with anxiety and irrational perfectly normal mommy concerns, I have hung on the silence coming from the other end of the phone waiting desperately for someone to say….

“It’s going to be okay.”

Goodness. Those are powerful words.

But recently, I have come to realize that I don’t just crave those words as a momma. There are times when I am desperate to hear them as a wife, and a daughter, and a friend too. I need to be reminded of them constantly. A million ways I need to hear that it’s going to be okay… that I’m going to be okay…

So, honestly, I don’t know what brought you to this page today. I don’t know if you were referred here by a friend, or if you stumbled upon it through some link posted on your Facebook account. Perhaps you have been a reader for a while, or this is your first time here. But whatever brought you to my heart typed out in black letters across this safe small space, I just feel like I need to remind YOU…

It’s going to be okay, friend.

Maybe you are waiting for those two precious pink lines to show up or you just saw them for the first time today -

Or maybe you threw away another negative test this week or perhaps your hands shakily hold your first positive -

Maybe you just got engaged, or are only days away from a wedding -

Or maybe you don’t just wait eagerly for a wedding, but for a man who will give you a ring –

To the newlywed wondering what she just got herself into or the young bride still trying to figure it all out –

To the pregnant momma in the early days or the final days of pregnancy – even when uncertainty is overwhelming and fear seems loud –

To the momma at the kitchen sink rinsing out sippy cups or breaking a banana into the tiniest bites that can be pinched off that high chair -

And to the momma who cannot fit one more thing on her schedule and feels buried alive in the chaos of life –

To the wife who wonders how you and your husband got here and how you will ever find your way back -

And to the wife who finds herself alone – whether he left on purpose, or for business, or was taken from this life too soon –

To the woman who wonders what to do next, where to go next, and or has forgotten how to dream –

And to the woman who feels overlooked or unappreciated, unimportant or without value –

Listen to my heart, friend, “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

This one thing I know to be true… life has a way of moving forward. Clocks have a way of continuing to tick, and calendars have a way of continuing to flip. And while it feels as though we will be in this… this moment of uncertainty, or sadness, or anxiety, or pain, or desperation forever… Time has made us a promise.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new day full of hope and life and change.

Are you running low on hope today? Borrow mine.

I do not know where you are standing in this moment, but I do know that you’re not alone.

Listen carefully and let these words soak into your soul. It won’t always be this way. It won’t always be this hard, or this painful, or this overwhelming. It won’t always be this stressful, or this uncertain, or this difficult.

I’m honored to be the one to remind you today, “It’s going to be okay.”

Deep breath.

Now, let’s keep going.

 

I try and stay in touch with my readers on a personal level through social media. Share this post to pass it on, and then click here to find me on Facebook.

I Knew Someone Was Missing

I have known that you were missing for a while now. I would look around the table at dinner and even though the chairs were all full, my heart would whisper, “Someone isn’t here yet.”

When people would ask if we were done having kids after your brother and sister were born, I would stop and think.

I would think about how tired I was. I would think about how there were toys strewn across the house. I would think about how much I miss spending time with Daddy. I would think maybe our house isn’t big enough, or maybe it would be difficult to adjust to having a third baby, but none of that mattered. Because every time I was asked, I would answer, “No. We’re not done yet. There is still someone missing.”

When we told everyone that you were coming, they were so excited. But they were also so scared. You have a brother and a sister waiting to meet you here with us, but there are two more who are waiting to meet all of us in Heaven someday.

We think of them often, and we miss them like crazy.

But even though there were times in the beginning when I was scared too… the fear of losing you and having to wait to meet you in Heaven didn’t outweigh the longing of my heart to get to hold you on this earth.

And so, even when it was suggested that it was too dangerous to have another baby, and even when some questioned why we would go through the possible pain again…

We prayed. And God sent you to us.

He has formed you inside of me for the last 7 months. He has helped me take care of you as He carefully shaped each tiny part of you. He has protected you. And with each day that passes, I get that much closer to holding you in my arms and seeing your sweet face.

Oh, little boy, I have thought about your face for a long time – before I even knew you were on your way, I imagined you. I have seen your sweet profile through the wonder of ultrasounds, but sweet boy, the clearest image that I have of you is in my heart.

Because I haven’t just imagined your nose and your eyes or the curve of your chin, I have imagined a lifetime for you, my son. I have dreamt and prayed and asked God to make you great. Not for your own sake, but for His. I have asked God to give you the desire to serve Him, the love of His Son, and a love for everyone you will meet – so that through all of this many will come to know Him as the One True King.

This world will be a better place with you in it, because you have a purpose, little one. You have a destiny that only you can fulfill.

And that is why long before you came into this world, God placed the desire to meet you in my heart.

He has called you. He knows your future, because He already stands there waiting.

And so we will trust Him. We will hold onto the hope that is in the Lord, together. Because we know that He is only good, and love is His only motivation.

Keep growing, little one. Keep getting stronger. Because as much as I cannot wait to meet you, I will do everything in my power to keep you from coming a day too soon. And until then, I will look for you in my dreams.

Just a few weeks left, my love… and then a lifetime more.

 

You are already so loved.

Mommy

 

I try and stay in touch with my readers on a personal level through social media. Share this post if you’d like to pass it on, and then click here to find me on Facebook.